Marijuana drug tests can be given for a variety of reasons. Employers, schools, law enforcement agencies, and many parents use them to ensure the people under their tutelage are cannabis-free.
Imagine you’re a cannabis user who has just been offered a new job. It’s time to celebrate, right? Maybe you’d throw a party or a small get-together with a few friends. The person in charge of music plays Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” at least once or twice. Our good friend Mary Jane also joins the festivities.
Then, once you begin the new job, your employer drops a bomb on you. You have to get a drug test by tomorrow afternoon. Did you hear a record scratch just then, or was it just me?
You try not to let your employer perceive your internal panicking and say, “OK, no problem.” You now have less than 24 hours to prepare. What do you do?
Fortunately, the internet has a wealth of advice for cannabis users in this situation. But, as we hope to demonstrate, some of this advice is not worthy of your time.
There are several ways to pass a drug test, but only one we can guarantee.
Your local laws may prohibit the use of synthetic urine or adulterants to pass a drug test. If you choose to break the law, you do so at your own risk.
With that in mind, the only method for passing a marijuana drug test we’ll recommend is abstinence from cannabis.
But we think it’s worth exploring some of the other methods, if only for informational purposes. We offer no guarantees that anything but abstinence will help you give a clean urine sample.
This article doesn’t consider other testing methods (blood, hair, saliva, sweat, fingernails, toenails) because urinalyses are the most prevalent.
UtahMarijuana.org’s Instagram account recently received an interesting comment that caught our attention.
The commenter responded to our post about taking tolerance breaks from cannabis, which we routinely recommend for most patients.
Usually, an effective tolerance break from cannabis lasts at least 48 hours. But the commenter suggested a much faster alternative.
To summarize, they recommended sitting in a steam room for an hour (with breaks to cool off every 15 minutes) and drinking plenty of water.
“Resets you back to near zero in less than 2 hours, and you didn’t hear it from us, but it’ll make ya pass court drug tests too,” the commenter claimed.
That last part made us wonder: Is it possible to pass a drug test this way?
We were skeptical but decided to test it out anyway.
The Steam Room Experiment: PreparationOur volunteer test subject, “Sam,” spent a weekend using a mixture of THC edibles, vape cartridges, and flower. Sam says he used much more THC than usual that weekend. What a trooper!
At this point in the experiment, we used some inexpensive at-home THC testing kits on Sam and another volunteer, “Lewis,” who does not use cannabis. As expected, Sam tested positive for THC, and Lewis did not. We’ll note that the testing kits, though inexpensive, meet the federal standards for THC testing.
Sam wanted to take a 48-hour break from cannabis before the next phase. We were OK with that. THC metabolites typically remain in the body for up to 30 days. A two-day break should not have affected his test results.
Just to make sure, we gave Sam another THC test at the end of his tolerance break. As expected, he tested positive again.
On the big day, Sam drank lots of water, per the original instructions we saw on Instagram. All in all, he drank about five liters (more than double his usual daily amount). He drank three of those five liters while sitting in the steam room, once again according to the instructions.
Sam says he enjoyed the experiment at first. He likes sitting in steam rooms, so he was happy to be our volunteer. But his enjoyment came to an end after about 10 minutes. The rest of the experiment made him feel dizzy and weak.
He took breaks to cool off every 15 minutes. On his third break, he vomited.
Despite his misery and temptation to give up, Sam completed the experiment. He really is a trooper! But was it worth the effort?
As mentioned earlier, we were skeptical about the steam room method from the beginning. Sam’s post-steam room THC test was positive, and we were disappointed but not surprised.
The experience was not only miserable for Sam but unsuccessful too. Our advice here is to avoid the steam room method altogether.
After a couple of months, Sam forgave us for the steam room incident and agreed to try something else. We visited two local head shops and asked for their recommendations.
Employees at both shops immediately grabbed boxes of High Voltage Detox Double Flush. We bought one in lemon-lime flavor and gave it to Sam.
Sam followed all of the High Voltage directions exactly. He drank the recommended amount of water the night before using the product. He also avoided “unwanted toxins” (THC, in this case) for at least 24 hours before using the High Voltage.
Sam is a moderate cannabis user, and we felt much more optimistic about this rapid detox method than we did about the steam room method.
High Voltage recommends their Detox Double Flush for people who weigh 240 pounds or less. Sam weighs 185.
Sam was ready to try again after ingesting all of the High Voltage doses (a combination of six capsules and a 16 oz. drink).
The High Voltage directions say the product works best after three normal-size urinations. We tested a sample of Sam’s fourth urination, which was still positive. So were his fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth.
This product simply did not work as the packaging (and two head shop employees) led us to believe.
Perhaps we’ll test other detox products in the future, but we find it troubling that a highly-recommended brand didn’t work as intended.
We surveyed several other cannabis users about their experiences with defeating drug tests.
One has also used High Voltage Detox Double Flush a few times. She paraphrased Paul Rudd’s famous line from “Anchorman” to describe her experience: “75% of the time, it works every time.” I don’t like those odds, especially if something important like a new job is on the line.
Another survey participant tried a combination of exercise, vitamins, water, Gatorade, and other beverages to cleanse her system. The testing facility rejected her initial urine sample because it was too diluted. A week later, she tested negative for THC.
In her case, she only needed to flush out the THC metabolites from a single inhalation. Before that, it had been several months since she had used any cannabis. Because she had such a small amount of THC metabolite, her regimen of exercise, vitamins, and beverages may not have been necessary.
Two of our survey-takers recommended a brand of synthetic urine called Quick Fix. One said it helped her land a new job. But the other had a word of caution.
“Quick fix works well unless they smell your urine. Which never has happened to me, but I have a friend that happened to,” she said.
Let’s go back to the “new job” scenario. This time, you still didn’t abstain from cannabis long enough to guarantee a clean urine sample. But you have a secret weapon in your purse or pocket!
You tried to cleanse yourself of THC metabolites, but the test still came back positive. Your boss knows.
If you were to find yourself in that position, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to reach into your wallet and pull out a Medical Cannabis Card? That little piece of paper or plastic might be all it takes to turn the conversation around and let you keep your job.
That’s why we think a Medical Cannabis Card is your best line of defense against anyone who objects to your use of cannabis. Give us a call at 801-851-5554 to book your Medical Cannabis evaluation.
Have you tried any methods to slip past a drug test? It would be Kool & The Gang of you to tell us about it in the comments!
