If I were to say someone has “big dad energy,” what would that mean to you? The first few things to come to mind might be ties, tools, or tucked-in T-shirts. Maybe someone who obsesses over the thermostat or the way their front lawn looks. That being said, if there’s one thing that’s become so synonymous with father figures over time — enough to produce a very widely used slang term — it’s cheesy jokes, a.k.a., dad jokes.
For Father’s Day this year, we wanted to honor our dads and dad-adjacent folks with the Coolest. Gift. Ever. The father of all Father’s Day experiences. The mac daddy of all prizes. And other references to fatherhood as well. Zion Medicinal graciously extended the opportunity to two lucky Instagram followers to tour their state-of-the-art grow facility in Payson with none other than Blake Smith and Tim Pickett, PA-C of the Discover Marijuana video series. And here’s the kicker: they had to enter the contest with their best dad joke. Hundreds of our followers threw their cheesiest, funniest, downright corniest knee slappers into the ring. In the end, our friends Brayan and Carlos may have been randomly selected, but that’s not to say they didn’t bring the funny!
Q: How do you get a country girl’s attention? A: A tractor.
Me: I’m bored.
My dad: Hello bored, my name is Dad.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu.
Q: What do sprinters eat before a race? A: Nothing. They fast.
Q: Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? A: Because he was too far out, man.
Q: What did the fish say when it hit a wall? A: Dam.
Q: What do a tick and The Eiffel Tower have in common? A: They’re both Paris sites.
Q: What’s green and has wheels? A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
My dad just died because he needed blood and we didn’t know his blood type. He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He just kept whispering to us, “Be positive.”
Q: What concert costs just 45 cents? A: 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. So, we went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
Dad: What are you drinking?
Kid: Soy milk.
Dad: Hola milk, soy Padre.
Q: What do you get after eating too many cannabis edibles? A: A pot belly.
Q: How do dads stay focused when their kids are out of control? A: Concentrates.
Q: Where do people who don’t smoke weed go on vacation? A: A topical island.
I have a horse named Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo neighs.
Q: What happens when you touch Dwayne Johnson’s butt? A: You hit Rock bottom.
We hope that these jokes gave you and your father (or anybody who would listen) a bit of a chuckle today. You know what they say: laughter is the best medicine.* You can read more of the jokes we received on our Instagram post. But, hey! If the laughter didn’t do the trick, give us a call or take a quick, confidential prescreen to see if you qualify for Medical Cannabis. We’d love to help you feel better. Happy Father’s Day from all of us here at utahmarijuana.org.
*Please do not replace your actual prescriptions with joke books and stand-up comedy specials. This is just an expression.